With Love for Life

Just when you were lying down on the roof, looking at the stars and wondering why there are some stars that shine so bright while others don’t? you will get a text from your ex saying that he/she wants to get back into your life to make things worse again or the university examination results are out and you have failed in few subjects or your boss will ask you to come to the office immediately to finish a ‘7 day’ project in a ‘single night’ which will ruin your mind and make your night miserable.

Yeah, life is crazy like that. One minute you will feel lucky to be alive and another minute you want to slit your throat. We can’t figure out what life really is. But the problem with people is, they are trying too hard to live a perfect life and not knowing that there isn’t one.

Kids (yeah, I am an adult now) these days are overreacting to every problem they face in their life. They do not know for which problem they should be worried about for which they shouldn’t. The point is, most of us struggle throughout our lives by giving too many f*(ks in situations where f*(ks do not deserve to be given. The people who leave WhatsApp group after a fallout with their friends, will they leave their house and live on the streets after every fight they have with their parents? There are people who enjoy their life with their friends, chatting, making fun of each other and be happy but at the same time they want to live off on an island or a mountain (for some people) without anyone disturbing them. There are people who want to be rich and famous but also they want to go to an unheard village where no one knows about them so that they can start their life again. WTF? I mean, what’s next? You want to get pregnant and give birth to a dinosaur?

Life is as kind as you let it be. You can’t stop bad things from happening in your life. You can’t stop people from causing you pain and making you feel small but that doesn’t mean you can run away from them. You can’t control anything in your life. If it is meant to happen, it will happen and you can’t do anything about it. But it is stupid to think that your life is always conspiring against you and also that it always throws some problem at you so that you wouldn’t enjoy living. Life is going to be a series of problems but it is frightening to think that your life is out of your hands. You can’t control other people and you can’t always control life but you can get control on ‘how you handle it’.

I can say that the way you react to everything that happens is the truest choice you have and the most individualized thing about you. Whatever is going on in your life, it is up to you to determine and find the solution to your problems.

The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.

It may be gnarly and awful, it may take up all of your time and keep you awake at night, but it is yours. You can do whatever you like with it. Anyone can give up and run away, it’s the easiest thing to do. But to hold it together and face them, it will make you realize that you are stronger than you think.

There is nothing wrong about having problems in our life. We all have them. And we all have our own strategies to release the emotions that comes with the problem. Sometimes we call up a friend and unload on them, hoping that they can solve it for us. Or we call up mom or dad and look for a little reassurance that even if we fail they can have our back. Maybe we go to a movie with our lover and just forget about everything for a few hours. Or maybe we hit the gym to take out the frustration.

But life on the road, it’s quite often that you don’t have any friends or they cannot help as they have their own problems to solve, you can’t call a parent and lean on them for some support, you don’t have a lover to watch a movie, you can’t take out the frustration in gym because you are fat. Often you have to take the brunt of your emotions alone, with nothing to distract you from them.

And it’s hard. But it makes you stronger, more mentally resilient, more centered. When you do eventually bounce back, life feels much lighter. And those joyous experiences you feel in contrast to the dark and lonely ones become that much better.

Problems are just that, Problems. Not impossibilities, just situations that take a bit more from us than we normally give. And with every problem, you learn a little more about your skills and strengths.

I agree that some problems can be frightening. It can break your heart, empty your bank account and leave you feeling so down. There is just no way to avoid problems in life.

But, as long as you are above ground and moving, you have options.

You have choices. You have solutions.
There is always something you can do.

The problem that has been thrust upon you may not be your liking. You may not have caused it. You may not have had any part in its manifestation. But now that you are a part of it, you can accept it and adjust your experience in any way you like it.

It is okay if you don’t figure out what life is, you just climb up on the beast and ride. And it’s okay if you have scars to show the world that you are not having a perfect life. But every scar you have will tell a story. They are reminders of when life tried to break you up but failed. 

 

Feature image courtesy – gxsoftware.com

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