You and Only Yours

Think of something in your life that you’ve wanted to accomplish but haven’t. Something deep down. Whether it’s because you haven’t gotten around to it, are too timid to go for it, or you took a shot and failed deliberately. Conjure up in your mind that big failure of your life. Perhaps you’re in the middle of it now.

It goes without saying, we all mess up things big time. That’s obvious. Of course, some of us are better at it than others, but that’s kind of obvious too. And then there are those who string along coulda-shoulda moments throughout their life.

Some people have relationship problems, few have money problems, others have anxiety issues, etc. But the biggest problems I’ve seen in many of these people were not specific to relationships, money, confidence or whatever. It’s easy to figure out how to ask someone out, or how to start a business, or how to just do something even when you’re afraid. Dealing with your fear of abandonment or your screwed up beliefs about what others think about you? That’s a tad more involved.

Chances are, a profound struggle in one area of your life will bleed over into other aspects of your life. The principles of failure are rarely prejudiced. The behaviors and thoughts that sabotage you in one area of your life will stalk you in other areas. That shyness to ever ask someone out on a date probably plays out in your failure to take that new job, the timidity around your domineering co-workers, your passive-aggressive relationships with your family members. When confronted with life’s biggest opportunities, most of us start losing our sleep. And then we act out a number of strategies to avoid the pain and pressure inherent in reaching for our dreams.

People don’t like it when other people change or do something that makes them feel awkward or insecure. Pushing ourselves to reach our own greatness threatens the self-satisfaction of those around us, shining a light on their own squashed dreams and failed potential. In many cases, these people lash out. It makes them question themselves, which is difficult for most to handle.

Call me crazy but I love to see people happy and succeeding. Life is a journey, not a competition.

Simple fact of life: if you want to do something incredible, something that makes you stand out above the rest, then you have to become comfortable being different from the rest. People will think you’re weird, crazy, selfish, arrogant, irresponsible, obnoxious, stupid, disrespectful, fat, insecure, ugly, shallow, etc. Those closest to you will often become the harshest. If you have weak boundaries or are not confident with your own ideas and desires, then you’re not going to make it very far.

“It’s very important for human beings to feel they are popular and well-liked among a large group of people that we don’t care for.”

You can’t let people scare you, you can’t go your whole life trying to please everyone. You can’t go through life worried about what everyone else is going to think. Whether it’s your hair, clothes, what you have to say, how you feel, what you believe and what you have. You can’t let the judgment of others stop you from being you. Because if you do, you are no longer you. You are someone everyone wants you to be.

It’s crazy to look for appreciation from random people whom you didn’t know that they existed a year ago. Some people can’t handle your success and that they will try to bring you down. Some people will laugh at your goals and that they will try to break your heart. Some people mock at your mistakes and they will make sure that you never reach your goal. Don’t ever stop running towards your goal because of them. Your mistakes make you who you are. You learn and grow with each choice you make. Everything is worth it.

The one thing that you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your heart, your vision, your story. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live as only you can.

Try not to feel jealous about things, or people or places. It’s toxic. Just keep living. You will find your happiness. Don’t worry if people don’t like you. Most people are struggling to like themselves. Be yourself. People do not have to like you, and you don’t have to care.

“Travel and tell no one, live a true love story and tell no one, live happily and tell no one, people ruin beautiful things.” –Khalil Gibran.

Try not to depend on people for your happiness, try not to worry about what others might think about you, try not to think about the number of likes you get on Facebook or the re-tweets on Twitter. One day it just clicks. You realize what is important and what isn’t You learn to care less about what other people think of you and more about what you think of yourself. You realize how far you have come and you remember when you thought things were such a mess that you would never recover. Let people do what they need to do to make them happy. Mind your business and do what you need to do to make you happy.

In life, they will be no shortage of people who will tell you how to live. They will have all the answers, what you should do and not do. Don’t argue with them. Say, ”Yes, that’s a brilliant idea” and do what you want.

You don’t need people to appreciate you in everything you do in your life, you don’t need to lose weight to be happy in your life, you don’t need 100 likes on Facebook to feel proud of your life, you don’t need a hot, beautiful girl to have a perfect love story in your life, you don’t need ten million dollars to feel satisfied with your life.

Here’s the thing: Life is now. It’s not what people think about you from now, it’s not ten pounds from now, it’s not 50 re-tweets from now, it’s not to have a perfect love story from now, it’s not a million dollars from now. It’s right now and it’s your life and your life only, You just have to take a chance.

Feature image courtesy – abeautifulanarchy.com
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