“Our neighbor’s son secured an A and you’ve got just a D.
Look how well she dresses. Learn from her. (with a jab on the shoulder)
Your uncle’s daughter has topped her semester exams but you’re still lagging with 4 arrears.
He’s making 7 Lakhs per annum but you’re making a mere 4.5. When will your salary increase?
Fine arts is not going to help you in your life, get into an IT firm like your friend.”
We are accustomed to these type of comparisons in our life. If you are from a middle-class Indian family, the peer pressure from your family members and relatives will make you go nuts. When our parents sign our report cards, when our board exam results crash the servers (and ourselves), when we get into college, when we get a job offer after going through serious pains, we get subjected to silly comparisons in all the phases of our life. The worst part is when you get compared to a total stranger and the elders acknowledge his/her “words of wisdom.”
It’s a highly demotivating culture and people who don’t care about these “advice” are branded as adamant and stubborn. One cannot simply compare you with another X or Y. Sometimes, these lame comparisons sow the seeds of jealousy in the minds of children and even adults. For few, the comparisons are taken as an insult and it brings down their level of confidence. The other breed is the people who give Zero attention.
If you are from a middle-class family and if your ideologies and your family’s ideologies diverge, the only option for you is to be resilient to these scenarios. Your desires need to be concrete and you must not give room for negativities. Whatever you are, the society is going to compare you, criticize you, find faults with you. Embrace you’re uniqueness and feel happy about who you are.
The culture’s not going to change. The people around you are not going to change. You are responsible for your decisions. Success or failure, it’s in the way you see and accept life. An old friend of mine used to say “Don’t complicate life, have simple thoughts.” It may be hard to accept but, he makes sense. Complicating things or feeling depressed is not going to alter our lives in a positive way.
The society praises you when you succeed and stamps you hard when you fail.
Amidst all these, there’ll be few who heartily support you and encourage you in all your endeavors. Whatever happens, never let go of them. Each one of us goes through tough times in the path of life. These are the people who bring us back to the same spot where we fell down and make us stand strong again. Respect them.
Defining who we are going to be is in our hands. I say this to many of friends.
“Be selfish about who you wanted to be in your life.”
So, next time when you come across any cheesy comparisons or negative criticisms, help yourself with some sarcasm.
Live your life the way you wanted it to be.
Feature image courtesy – inc.com